I'm so sorry

I know you probably hate my guts right now. But i really need to get this off my chest. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what i said. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for taking this long to apologize. I dont know what was going through my head during that time we split apart, but that's history. I'm here to fix it now. The other night i had a dream about you, which was weird because that was the first time in months that you've been on my mind. Ever since then, ive come to realize that what i did was wrong. We spent a couple years building our friendship to what it was, and it was so stupid of me to just let it go like that. Theres nothing more that i want right now than to just wipe the slate clean, and start over. I'm not asking for a second chance, im not even asking to be friends again, i just need to man up to the mistakes ive made. i wanna put this all behind us. I'm sick of holding grudges, im sick of pretending that i dont care, im sick of acting like 'girls aint shit' cause that just aint me. it's almost a new year, and i dont want my problems from this year carry over to the next. I'm not ready to say this to you personally yet, cause i know that i lost your trust a long time ago. But this mess is my fault, and im ready to fix it, but i need your help. Can you forgive me?